Baxter King's "Creepy"

Human Remains Found Inside Shark Caught Off The Exuma Islands

Baxter King — Wed, 08 Sep 2010 03:12:31 +0000

NASSAU, Bahamas — “Bahamian police said Tuesday they are trying to identify human remains found in the stomach of a tiger shark caught off the Exuma islands.”

“Forensic investigators were conducting DNA tests on the two legs, two arms and severed torso found inside the 12-foot (3.6-meter) shark, said Assistant Police Commissioner Glenn Miller.”

“He said the remains appeared to be a couple of days old, but that it was not clear whether the person was dead or alive when consumed by the shark.” What was clear was that the person was dead when they pulled his pieces from the shark’s stomach.

“The tiger shark can migrate long distances and has been known to attack people.”

“Miller said at least two people have been reported missing recently on the archipelago. He also didn’t rule out the possibility that the remains are those of an impoverished migrant whose boat might have capsized during a risky sea journey to Florida.” In shark speak the term, “impoverished migrant whose boat might have capsized” is a euphemism for shark snack.

“Three fishermen made the grim discovery Saturday after hooking the tiger shark about 35 miles (56 kilometers) south of New Providence, the most populated Bahamian island.”

(source)

Suspected Witches Shot In South Africa

Baxter King — Wed, 08 Sep 2010 02:50:54 +0000

“A 54-year-old Eastern Cape woman and her 13-year-old granddaughter have been wounded by gunmen seeking revenge for a killing they believe was caused by witchcraft, police said on Friday.”

“Captain Mduduzi Godlwana said the two gunmen, in their 20s, believed the grandmother was responsible for the death of a young boy in the Flagstaff community a few weeks ago. ”

“They shot the woman twice, in the shoulder and leg, and teenager once in the leg in the kitchen of their home on Thursday evening. ”

“The woman’s son, who was sleeping in another room, woke when he heard the shots and called the police.”

“The woman and teenager were taken to the Holy Cross hospital, where their conditions were stable.”

“Police were still looking for the men.”

(source)

Hey You Kids Stay Off My Grave-Yard!

Baxter King — Tue, 07 Sep 2010 03:07:55 +0000

CHATTANOOGA, Tenn. — “Police have accused a high school teacher of holding teenagers at gunpoint after he found them ghost-hunting in a Tennessee graveyard.”

“The Hamilton County Sheriff’s Office says deputies went to Shipley Cemetery, outside of Chattanooga, on Saturday night after a complaint of shots fired.”

“Police say they confiscated an assault rifle from 45-year-old Stacey Swallows.”

“Several teens, ages 16-19, told deputies they had gone to the cemetery after reading an online ghost story about it. They say as they were leaving, Swallows blocked the road with his vehicle, pointed the rifle at them and told them to stay until police arrived.”

“Swallows teaches diesel mechanics at Sequoyah High School in nearby Soddy-Daisy.”

Swallows was a shop teacher?? These kids should have just ran. Chances are Swallows was missing his trigger finger anyway. I’ve never met a shop teacher with a full set of digits.

“He was being held on $180,000 bond Monday, charged with nine counts each of aggravated assault and false imprisonment.”

(source)

Guinness Names NEW ‘World’s Shortest Man’

Baxter King — Mon, 06 Sep 2010 17:11:36 +0000

“A Colombian has officially been declared the world’s shortest man by Guinness World Records officials — but his reign looks set to be short-lived.”

“Edward Nino Hernandez, who stands just 70.21 centimeters (2 ft 3.46 in) tall, inherits a title previously held by Chinese man He Pingping who died earlier this year.”

“But Hernandez is actually several centimeters shorter than Pingping, according to Craig Glenday, Editor-in-Chief of the Guinness World Records Book.”

“Not only is he a new shortest man, he’s even shorter than the previous record holder,” said Glenday.”

“Although Hernandez is formally recognized in the 2011 Guinness World Records book published this month, he is not expected to hold the title for long.”

“Khagendra Thapa Magar, a teenager from Nepal who stands just 56 centimeters (2 feet 1.8 inches) tall, turns 18 on October 14.”

“Glenday said Pingping, who died in March aged 21, had been an iconic character. “As a result of that there was a lot of interest from the small community. A lot of small men contacted us. When we heard about Edward’s claim we sent one of our representatives over to his home in Bogota.”

I contacted Mr Hernandez and asked, You’ve just won the title of World’s Shortest Man, Mr Hernandez! What are you gonna do?!

Mr Hernandez shook his cute little fist and exclaimed, “I’m going to Disney World, and I don’t want any wisecracks about me being too short to ride on any of the God damned rides!”

(source)

Man Caught Smuggling 95 Boa Constrictors In His Suitcase

Baxter King — Mon, 06 Sep 2010 16:42:07 +0000

“A MALAYSIAN man has admitted wildlife smuggling after his bag filled with 95 live boa constrictors burst open on an airport luggage conveyor belt.”

If I had a dollar for every time that happened…

“Keng Liang Wong, 52, who was previously convicted of wildlife trafficking in the US, was arrested at Kuala Lumpur International Airport after the snakes were found.”

“It emerged yesterday that he pleaded guilty to exporting the endangered snakes without a permit – and now faces up to seven years in jail.”

“Wong was travelling to Indonesia when he was caught.”

(source)

Mortician Under Investigation After Leaving Body In Hearse For Nine Days

Baxter King — Mon, 06 Sep 2010 16:18:59 +0000

“Police and North Carolina regulators are investigating why a woman’s body was left in a hearse for nine days.”

“Police found the body of Linda Walton last week after they were asked to investigate a foul odor in the city of Graham, about 32 miles west of Durham.”

“The 37-year-old died earlier this month in her apartment and police were unable to locate her next of kin. They called David B. Lawson Mortuary to pick up the body.”

“Lawson has been a licensed funeral director for more than 30 years and is part of a rotation of funeral homes used by police. He refused to talk about the case early Wednesday.”

“The funeral service’s disciplinary committee meets next week to discuss the complaint.”

How burned out is your sense of smell if you can tolerate a rotting corpse sitting behind you as you drive around town? I lose my lunch if a buddy farts in the car as I’m driving.

(source)

Skeleton Infiltration

Baxter King — Fri, 03 Sep 2010 03:39:53 +0000

Satanic Church Plans To Hold A ‘Ritual Exorcism Of God’

Baxter King — Fri, 03 Sep 2010 02:03:28 +0000

God shakes his head and yawns…

“The leader of an Satanic church firmly planted in the Bible Belt has raised eyebrows by renting a theater in the Oklahoma City Civic Center for a ritual exorcism of God.”

“The Church of the IV Majesties is inviting members and the public to view the ritual, in hopes of erasing a lot of the unfounded fears many have about Satanism.”

“We don’t kill animals (kittens are cute), we don’t kill children(they just scare them silly),” James Hale, the church’s Lord High Master, told ABCNews.com.”

“We just decided that being right here in the middle of the Bible Belt, it wasn’t a good idea to keep the secrecy you see in the traditional Satanist churches,” he said. “Because secrecy breeds fear. And we’re not looking to scare anyone.”

“Citing concerns for privacy and safety, Hale declined to say how many members the church has besides the seven members who are named on the church’s state listing as a tax exempt religious organization, a designation they were awarded this spring.”

(source)

Creature Spotted Swimming In Florida Waters

Baxter King — Fri, 03 Sep 2010 01:00:54 +0000

Clearwater, Florida — “A family vacationing from Ohio says they spotted what they describe as a 30-foot long serpent like creature swimming in the water off Sand Key Park on Monday.”

“Was it another sighting of Normandy Nessie, the Bay area’s version of the Loch Ness Sea Monster?”

“Russ Sittloh, who first video taped a mysterious black 20-foot long creature in the canal behind his Madeira Beach home more than a year ago, believes it could be Normandy Nessie.”

“Sittloh named the creature Normandy, after the road he lives on.”

“Experts say what Sittloh and others have seen could be anything from a manatee to an anaconda.”

“Most of the time when people see this stuff, they don’t get to see it for any real length of time and it’s so far away, it’s really hard to make out,” said Vernon Yates of Wildlife Rehab and Rescue.”

Not to mention they’d probably been drinking whiskey sours and smoking pot for about seven hours on a party boat, just moments before the sighting. You can watch some of the video here…follow this link.

(source)

“She Looks So Natural…”

Baxter King — Tue, 31 Aug 2010 05:00:51 +0000

One question I often get from readers is, “what happens to my body after I die?” or “What does the Mortician do to me?” Well here’s your quick lesson of the day. For more information, follow the source link below.

“When a person dies, the family generally arranges for a funeral home to collect the body and prepare it for burial or cremation. In Western societies, embalming is often done as a matter of course. The reason is to keep the body from decomposing and make it look presentable for family and friends who may wish to view it.”

Step 1: The Body’s Embalmed

The body is washed down with disinfectant.
A tube is inserted into the carotid or femoral artery to pump embalming fluid throughout the body. A larger tube is placed in an accompanying vein to drain the blood that is flushed out
An embalming machine pumps the fluid into the body and it takes about an hour to wash all the blood out.

Step 2: The Internal Organs Are Embalmed

A small incision is made above the navel and a long sharp vacuum tube called a trocar is inserted.
The trocar is directed into the heart, lungs, stomach, bladder, intestines and other organs and blood, urine, feces and other liquids are removed by suction.
Embalming fluid is injected into the organs.

Step :3 Cosmetic Work Is Done To Prepare The Body For Viewing

Cosmetic work is done to give the body the appearance of being peacefully asleep. This is particularly important where the death was violent or injuries were incurred.

Dye is normally added to the embalming fluid to give the body a pinkish glow.
The hair is washed, nails trimmed and men’s faces shaved.
Plastic eye cups are inserted and the mouth is fastened shut.
Cuts, bruises and gashed can be disguised and filled in with cosmetic wax.
Body cavities are plugged with cotton gauze to prevent leakage.
The body is dressed in clothing supplied by the family.

(source)